ADHD AND RELATIONSHIP COUNSELING ONLINE THERAPY FOR COUPLES IN MARYLAND AND PENNSYLVANIA
Rebuild Partnership, Restore Intimacy, and Feel Like a Team Again
You Can Become a Team Again
You are so tired from having to make all the day to day decisions, figuring out all the logistics, and needing to run the household all by yourself. You may be feeling like you are the only one actually parenting your kids because your partner is so wrapped up in their work or are needing to chill by playing video games because they are so stressed out they can’t function. You’ve tried to discuss it with your partner but they get reactive and either melt down or shut down. They get hurt telling you they are doing their best, expecting you to give them a pass, because they don’t notice the impact, just their intent. You both possibly feel like you are walking on eggshells because speaking directly holds too much risk. Managing the situation has turned into you giving your partner a reminder in the least offensive way possible in efforts of keeping the peace, because you know if the pattern repeats, you both end up frustrated, disconnected and worst of all alone. Most of the time it’s not worth it, so it is you, all by yourself, doing ALL the things and you are flat out exhausted and overwhelmed.
You don’t want to leave the relationship because you have a shared history, finances, and now a family, but you wonder how to get your partner to step up and interact like a team mate? If you can ever feel connected again?
If you can’t talk to your partner about this, who can you talk to about it?
Therapy might be the answer if you find yourself here…
You've lost some respect for your partner, and "I'm doing my best" doesn't feel like enough anymore
You've become the one who remembers everything, plans everything, worries about everything
Your relationship feels more like parenting than partnership
You feel like you stopped being the priority, because your partner is always racing a deadline or catching up on something else
Sex used to bring you together but it's the last thing you both reach for.
Sex may have gotten complicated too, ADHD often brings real sexual challenges you don't hear much about
You miss the way you used to be together, when you both spent your time having fun, laughing, and being affectionate. You want this part of your relationship back.
You don’t have to figure this out alone because I can help.
It’s a Shared Dynamic
ADHD gets blamed for a lot of things, but it isn't what's driving this. This is a pattern neither of you chose.
The dynamic involves two people’s contributions; there is one person over functioning when the other falls short of expectations. It’s one of the most common patterns found in ADHD relationships. The good news is that it is very treatable. This doesn’t mean that either of you is doing anything wrong or on purpose. Neurobiology teaches us that the ADHD brain follows interest, not importance and the neurotypical partner, who’s likely you, adapted to your partner’s priority style and you’ve been carrying the difference for a long time. You already know fixing this doesn't come from more reminders, and definitely not more complaining. It comes from changes you can both make together, understanding how ADHD shapes connection, communication, and intimacy, putting strategies in place that help the ADHD partner engage more effectively, and the neurotypical partner stepping out of the manager role.
Through ADHD relationship therapy, we will focus on the neurodivergence by:
Learning about how the neurodivergent brain (ADHD) works and how it differs from the neurotypical brain, and why everyday responsibilities land differently
Noticing when the parent-child pattern emerges, and learn to manage that dance differently
Working with Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, so that honest conversations become possible again
Rebuilding the intimacy, both emotional and physical, that’s gotten buried under the resentment
The Three Part Relational Treatment Plan
Untangling this isn't about assigning blame. It's about understanding what's actually happening between you, and building a different way forward, together.
Part 1
Understanding the Dynamic: and identifying what each of you need beneath the conflict
Part 2
Rebuilding the Partnership: so that you both are sharing the responsibilities
Part 3
Reconnecting Intimately: relearning how to attune to your partner’s emotional and physical needs
Once you both understand that your conflict wasn’t about either one of you not caring about the other, we work on sharing the load in a way that works for both of your brain styles
Building systems that work with the ADHD brain, not against it
Learning how to raise concerns by sharing your feelings and your needs without triggering shutdown or shame
Learning how to use negotiation instead of compromise to get your needs met in ways that feel fair
Separating a partner’s attraction to you from what your body or attention does in any given moment
Identify how ADHD may be shaping your sex life, and start repairing it together
Your way back to each other starts here.
Therapy Can Teach You to See Through Each Other's Eyes
Not every couple needs to look exactly like every other couple. This work isn't about becoming neurotypical, or becoming endlessly patient. It's about becoming a team again on terms that actually fit who you both are. ADHD relationship therapy gives you the tools to stop seeing this through only your own lens, and start seeing it through each other's. Whether you're the partner with ADHD or the one who loves them, there's a place for you here.
Online counseling is available throughout Maryland and Pennsylvania.
ADHD therapy gives you neurodivergent-informed strategies for organization, conflict resolution, and sexual health-the tools that actually build partnership, connection, and intimacy in your relationship.
Whether you're looking to repair, redefine, or heal individually, I'm here to support you.
